Hi There,
One of the basic features of coaching is that it helps a client examine their choices and also generate the ability to expand their choices. This is important when it comes to the area of life direction. If a person can only see a couple of possible alternatives to move forward then they will either choose one of them or choose none of them. When it comes to life direction and vocation there are usually a number of choices.
Now you might say how is it possible that an individual is not able to see all the choices in front of them? Well the answer is because we tend to filter out the information coming to us, this is essential otherwise we would be overwhelmed with information. This same filtering process can also delete certain options and choices.
Very often a client will present a dilemma and say "here are my two choices" and usually do not see other options at all. This means that the client has trained themselves to look for a certain number of types of choices and when that is reached the search for choices stop. Part of the coaching process is about stretching the client's brain so that it can begin generating many options. Another word for this process is getting the client to be a little more creative or imaginative. Even if some of these options seem riduculous or not much of an option the process of generating many options is very useful.
You could call this a brainstorming session where ideas are just generated and nothing is refuted. It is important that the creative process is not interupted too soon by critical analysis which would start deleting the seemingly least useful options. Sometime in a brainstorming session two interesting ideas combine to produce a third brilliant idea.
Blessings
Steve Nobel
Monday 24 March 2008
Saturday 22 March 2008
A Case of Premature Certainty.....
Hi There,
Premature certainty is when a client has reached a solution in an attempt to jump out of some sense of discomfort or pain and because the solution needs to happen quickly in order to get out of the pain it is not often well thought through. Usually such solutions can create more pain in the long run.
Take client Y who had been feeling a little lost in the world and disconnected from other people for awhile. Client Y longed for a greater sense of certainty and direction. She found a solution which involved her leaving the UK and travelling back to her native land. An opportunity arose for her to reconnect with an old friend and she hoped that this person would help her establish her business in her native land. Now all the signs were there that this was an ill conceived idea and had the potentia, because it meant leaving all her friends and connections behind, to leave her feeling even more lost and disconnected in the world. Now in a coaching session I began to challenge her solution. Her response was a fierce defence and an attempt to convince me that her solution was the right one.
I always get a little concerned when clients try to convince me or enroll me into their worldview. A coach is only useful to a client to the extent they can stay out of the client's story or worldview. Some clients try to 'hypnotise' me into their way of thinking and that is not what I am there for.
Now client Y was still certain at this point with her solution and held onto it with a grim determination. I did not hear from client Y for 3 months. She had sat with it that long. A number of things happened that helped her question her solution. Fortunately she sat with it long enough to not only change her mind but find a better solution, one that helped did not mean leaving her friends behind, and one that gave helped her find more of the direction and connection she wanted.
Blessings
Steve Nobel
Premature certainty is when a client has reached a solution in an attempt to jump out of some sense of discomfort or pain and because the solution needs to happen quickly in order to get out of the pain it is not often well thought through. Usually such solutions can create more pain in the long run.
Take client Y who had been feeling a little lost in the world and disconnected from other people for awhile. Client Y longed for a greater sense of certainty and direction. She found a solution which involved her leaving the UK and travelling back to her native land. An opportunity arose for her to reconnect with an old friend and she hoped that this person would help her establish her business in her native land. Now all the signs were there that this was an ill conceived idea and had the potentia, because it meant leaving all her friends and connections behind, to leave her feeling even more lost and disconnected in the world. Now in a coaching session I began to challenge her solution. Her response was a fierce defence and an attempt to convince me that her solution was the right one.
I always get a little concerned when clients try to convince me or enroll me into their worldview. A coach is only useful to a client to the extent they can stay out of the client's story or worldview. Some clients try to 'hypnotise' me into their way of thinking and that is not what I am there for.
Now client Y was still certain at this point with her solution and held onto it with a grim determination. I did not hear from client Y for 3 months. She had sat with it that long. A number of things happened that helped her question her solution. Fortunately she sat with it long enough to not only change her mind but find a better solution, one that helped did not mean leaving her friends behind, and one that gave helped her find more of the direction and connection she wanted.
Blessings
Steve Nobel
Tuesday 18 March 2008
Having a Hot CV...
Hi There,
Let me introduce you to client Y. Now client Y was not earning as much money as she would have liked. She was a marketing manager for a major retail company but she was not only not earning what she felt she could earn she was also not enjoying the job she was currently doing. Upon chatting with client Y she was indeed a talented young woman with a skill and flair for marketing. The trouble was that she was not getting offered the right kind of jobs.
Now I probed around and found that one area that was letting her down was her CV. Perhaps its a British thing that we tend to understate ourselves. Now having been an employer and having sat in interview panels. So over the next week I helped her shape up her CV so that it started to more accurately reflect her skill and potential. It took a bit of going backwards and forwards until we had it just right and ready for her to send off to several prospective employers.
The last I heard client Y had upped her income by around £15K.
Not bad for a bit of work on her CV.
Blessings
Steve Nobel
Let me introduce you to client Y. Now client Y was not earning as much money as she would have liked. She was a marketing manager for a major retail company but she was not only not earning what she felt she could earn she was also not enjoying the job she was currently doing. Upon chatting with client Y she was indeed a talented young woman with a skill and flair for marketing. The trouble was that she was not getting offered the right kind of jobs.
Now I probed around and found that one area that was letting her down was her CV. Perhaps its a British thing that we tend to understate ourselves. Now having been an employer and having sat in interview panels. So over the next week I helped her shape up her CV so that it started to more accurately reflect her skill and potential. It took a bit of going backwards and forwards until we had it just right and ready for her to send off to several prospective employers.
The last I heard client Y had upped her income by around £15K.
Not bad for a bit of work on her CV.
Blessings
Steve Nobel
Life Direction and Income...
Hi There,
Now often in coaching the issue of life purpose arises. Purpose has to do with direction and motivation, it also is very connected to an individual's values or sense of valuing different activities in the world.
Welcome to client Y. She was your average talented individual with lots of skills, experience and talent in her chosen field of work. The thing was that even though she was earning a reasonable amount of money the work was not switching her on or lighting her fire in anyway. We explored what kind of activities and themes she found important. Now at one point she described a scene from a few years back and tears quickly came to her eyes. This was a good sign that we were on the right track.
Client Y was really a people person. She had some strong spiritual inclinations and wanted to explore those in the session. All of the things she found important pointed to one or two core themes. We then looked at some of the challenges in the way and naturally these also pointed to the same core themes, although from a different angle. We then looked at her core strengths, skills and talents and how these also pointed to her life purpose.
Now practically speaking I always like to give clients stuff to do and so since we were talking about work and vocation the homework related to creating a list of the ideal company she would like to work for. I also asked her to research 10 organisations that were a better fit for her core values. Also client Y had a dream of doing some freelance and training work which would be a new avenue of income for her so I gave her the homework of finding several websites that contained different components of the work she wanted to go out and start in the world.
Now some people discover their values around work and immediately want to resign from their current work and fling themselves into a new project hoping that it will work out. Now client Y is more sensible and realises the need to develop the resources of time and money in her existing work in order to build her new business slowly and organically.
The great thing about client Y is that she is a very capable human being, and once she says she will do something I know that she will do it. Client Y is on the way to upping her income and starting the work she feels called to do in the world.
Blessings
Steve Nobel
Now often in coaching the issue of life purpose arises. Purpose has to do with direction and motivation, it also is very connected to an individual's values or sense of valuing different activities in the world.
Welcome to client Y. She was your average talented individual with lots of skills, experience and talent in her chosen field of work. The thing was that even though she was earning a reasonable amount of money the work was not switching her on or lighting her fire in anyway. We explored what kind of activities and themes she found important. Now at one point she described a scene from a few years back and tears quickly came to her eyes. This was a good sign that we were on the right track.
Client Y was really a people person. She had some strong spiritual inclinations and wanted to explore those in the session. All of the things she found important pointed to one or two core themes. We then looked at some of the challenges in the way and naturally these also pointed to the same core themes, although from a different angle. We then looked at her core strengths, skills and talents and how these also pointed to her life purpose.
Now practically speaking I always like to give clients stuff to do and so since we were talking about work and vocation the homework related to creating a list of the ideal company she would like to work for. I also asked her to research 10 organisations that were a better fit for her core values. Also client Y had a dream of doing some freelance and training work which would be a new avenue of income for her so I gave her the homework of finding several websites that contained different components of the work she wanted to go out and start in the world.
Now some people discover their values around work and immediately want to resign from their current work and fling themselves into a new project hoping that it will work out. Now client Y is more sensible and realises the need to develop the resources of time and money in her existing work in order to build her new business slowly and organically.
The great thing about client Y is that she is a very capable human being, and once she says she will do something I know that she will do it. Client Y is on the way to upping her income and starting the work she feels called to do in the world.
Blessings
Steve Nobel
Time Management...just say no
Hi There,
And welcome to the world of client X. Now client X works freelance for three organsiations, and also has time to write a novel which is his personal passion. Now the issue for client X is time management, learning how to prioritise and knowing how to say 'no'.Client X is a polite person and finds it hard to say no, especially to work. For three years client X built up his business by saying yes to every peice of work that came along and that was fine. But now this was getting in the way of writing the novel and this was a problem.
The solution was simple, client X could not say no because she valued being polite and respectful and felt that saying no could be taken the wrong way and even come across as being rude. Now client Y has only two choices when it comes to accepting more work, be polite and say yes, or say no and risk loosing clients and appearing rude. After exploring a bit further we found that this politeness issue has also adverly affected her romantic life whereby she found it hard to say no to guys who wanted to ask her out on a date. Now this was getting serious!
What client Y was not aware of was that there was a third option....being respectful and straightforward. Now you might think reading this that it is so obvious. Not so to client Y who really had to prcess this new possibility.Now just to make sure that client Y was going to seriously consider and utilise this new possibility in her life I gave her some homework. The homework was to once a day say something that felt respectful, in integrity, and a little uncomfortable. This could be saying yes to something in a more affirming way than she was used to or saying no to something.
Now being a thorough coach I have asked client Y to email me after 10 days to let me know how she is getting on with this homework.
Blessings
Steve Nobel
And welcome to the world of client X. Now client X works freelance for three organsiations, and also has time to write a novel which is his personal passion. Now the issue for client X is time management, learning how to prioritise and knowing how to say 'no'.Client X is a polite person and finds it hard to say no, especially to work. For three years client X built up his business by saying yes to every peice of work that came along and that was fine. But now this was getting in the way of writing the novel and this was a problem.
The solution was simple, client X could not say no because she valued being polite and respectful and felt that saying no could be taken the wrong way and even come across as being rude. Now client Y has only two choices when it comes to accepting more work, be polite and say yes, or say no and risk loosing clients and appearing rude. After exploring a bit further we found that this politeness issue has also adverly affected her romantic life whereby she found it hard to say no to guys who wanted to ask her out on a date. Now this was getting serious!
What client Y was not aware of was that there was a third option....being respectful and straightforward. Now you might think reading this that it is so obvious. Not so to client Y who really had to prcess this new possibility.Now just to make sure that client Y was going to seriously consider and utilise this new possibility in her life I gave her some homework. The homework was to once a day say something that felt respectful, in integrity, and a little uncomfortable. This could be saying yes to something in a more affirming way than she was used to or saying no to something.
Now being a thorough coach I have asked client Y to email me after 10 days to let me know how she is getting on with this homework.
Blessings
Steve Nobel
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